Dad Went Home

I am really too emotional still to write too much about this so I will let the pictures tell the story. The last ones are of the room and bathroom I set up before his return home.

Anniversary

Well, we celebrated with sushi and sno cones!

Here are some of my favorite dating memories with Michael Trent Phillips

My first trip home with him. I remember pulling into his parents drive way the weekend of Halloween and seeing the Christmas tree through the window :)

Fourth of July in his hometown laying down looking at the fireworks directly above us

Dancing to country music

Sushi dates at Ishin in Irving

Worshipping together at Prestoncrest

Riding in his blue chevy z71 pickup around Dallas listening to Dave Matthews and Rusted Root

Dave Concert at Starplex

swing dancing at the red door

Meeting at 5:30 to run in our neighborhood (you know thats love)

Taking him on his first trip to the Ft.Worth Zoo

The star he named after me for our one year dating anniversary

the fact that he brought my mother flowers on my birthday

Finding a brighton watch under my pillow one night after he left my apartment as I was climbing into bed

Being introduced to vanilla cream dr. peppers

His incredible ability to grill an absolutely divine steak. I have never ordered another one out!

How into clothes he is for a man

Golf tournaments and hitting  balls with him on the driving range 

My husband of 13 years

I started this blog almost 7 years ago one, for therapy, two to relay pics and info to friends far away (before facebook) and three to capture what life was really like.  I am now hoping it will be something to leave my children to refer back to.  Maybe they will understand more clearly the behind the scenes of their time growing up.  Blogging has become a job for many younger moms out there now who are mostly blogging to an audience of other women and I only WISH I could make $$ off this thing.

Well  I realized that I may have not included the pre-story for my kids. The one of how and why they exisit! This month on the 12th, likely the day after my dad will be released and I will not be with my husband) is when I married Michael Trent Phllips 13 years ago.  So here is my side of our story:

Once upon  time in a land far far away.... called Dallas, I was 24 sitting in the singles class on a wednesday night and  new friend introduced me to Trent. That next Sunday I brought some friends with me to church and we came in a little late and I ended up sitting on the back row next to that same guy, Trent.  My roomate had invited me and the girls to a popular golf tournament, The Byron Nelson. Over conversation in church we found out Trent was too so we ended up going all together, Four girls and Trent in my 98 rust colored Ford Explorer. It was the start of a friendship that would grow more over the next several weeks.  One night I ended up riding with Trent to a swing dance(The Red Door)  place and my roomate ended up staying behind. Trent drove me home that nigh, first time we had ever been alone, and he shared he would like to date me. He asked me to go to dinner the following day and then mentioned that his entire family would be in town and there as well.  :)

Wow.  I was honestly shocked. I had no idea that he had the slightest bit interested in me because he would always call and talk to my roomate AND then the fact that I would meet his parents and family on our first date! It went wonderfully. It was his parents and his dad's siblings and their families and then Trent's grandparents. They were all very warm and welcoming.  There was a lot of comic relief to say the least.

Dating recap? To be continued...............

Fourth of July

We enjoyed the 4th on Broad parade again this year with Pop and Cita and Trent even joined in the fun this year. We took the kids to swim afterward and then to the fireworks out at LCC. Levi fell asleep during them! We had Trent's jeep all day with the doors and top off- it was a pefect day all around. Beautiful weather and a nice time with family :)

Stinkiest Summer EVER

So aside from the awfulness of my dad's injury, we have had quite a bit of illness around here. THREE WEEKS to be exact! It wasnt too long after the fourth that it started with my oldest from fever turned breathing problem to be dealt with by steroids and our first experiences with many breathing treatments, only to be passed on to his sister as of last Sunday and still having horrific cough and fever til today, and now to the youngest who seems thus far to have the mildest form.

Ty gets back from camp tomorrow and will immediately go to the safety of my mother from all this YUCK. I am so sad! I want to hear all about it but it will have to be over the phone I guess! Thankfully one of the couselors has been putting up pictures on the facebook page all week. The bad news, I have seen my son in the same shirt that he left on Sunday in EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I guess the packing clothes for the appropriate day (favorite team, camo day, hawaiian day, etc) in a ziplock with the day across the front (Monday, Tuesday,etc,) was a complete waste of my time!!  I mean I think its weird nobody has noticed and taken control of that 9 year old situation and I am just crossing my fingers that he has not also slept in these clothes each night!!! It doesn't matter right???!! I need to cut the cord.

Well I have now been in my house except a trip to the doctor with the girl on Tuesday, for FIVE days.  I was ranting to my husband that I am caught up on laundry and housework and if I had to be here I wanted to be productive, so he was kind enough to deliver some paint to me on his lunch hour today :) I knocked out the guestroom/soon to be my office today and will start on my daughter's room tomorrow. She picked her favorite color turquoise! Maybe Ill have some fun pics to post soon of my progress! I am in love with a Better Homes and Gardens color from walmart Called Creamed Coffee.... yes there is also the fact that I am in fact have quite an addiction to coffee, but the color is actually a very warm gray.  I painted my master the last week of May and decided it would be perfect in our guest/office as well! Not that we ever have a ton of guests but the time occassionally arises and its turned to be quite a snuggy little room that I am blogging in this very moment. 

Guess my burst of energy from painting earlier has not warn off because even with two melatonin here I am just a typin away! Faint sounds of coughing from two rooms :(  We have been swimming a total of five times in two months.  If I hear another thing about back to school I am going to throw up. We have not even had a summer yet!!  No trip for us this year until October. We are tagging along on a business trip to Utah then. There have been popsicles and even a blow up pool, as well as trips to the library and bike riding, so its not a total loss I guess.  I am definately not a woman that would make a good homeschool mom, and would ruin my children... but I sure enjoy having them here with me all day. I wish this particular summer could last forever. Their ages are so great.  I want to freeze time and soak up these moments that I know will fade in a year even.  I am so incredibly in love with these kids that I can't hardly stand it. 

I don't want to go back to real life of the hustle and bustle of activities and juggling homework and dinner and stuffing too much into the four hours I have with them before its time for baths and bed and starting it all over again to be at school by 7:40, which makes me mad all over again every morning that our district starts so early! Its ridiculous.  I like this fantasy land of my job being on hold, lazy mornings, no schedule, lots of snuggles and a rest time each day.  Don't know that I will ever be ready to give it back up again. Sigh.......

Celebrating

So since my last post  have been to my parents house, cleaned out FOURTY years of things in their garage, a room and closet. I worked from 7-9 for two days but got it done. I had my aunt's help and could not have done it without her or their precious neighbors who took the majority of the garage. That time was hard but I was blessed by the time with my aunt. I also inteviewed and got bids from contractors during that time. We found the perfect match and demolition starts Tuesday.

We also celebrated his 70th birthday with  a surprise!!! He was very touched and I think it was just the boost he needed

The time line has shrunk significantly,  Here we are inching up on his release, which we hope is the end of July.  My mom and I went Monday throught Thursday this past week at 7 each morning to learn how to get him out of  bed and ito a wheelchair. There is SO much to remember because of his specific injury and the possibility of pressure wounds. We did it without help Thursday with the exception of packing his current pressure wound. My dad was a trooper through it all. This is at least an hour long process with his help.  My heart breaks for him as it is the most humility I have ever seen a person go through. At one point there were four people in the room while he lay completely un clothed for 30m minutes. It also made me aware of how incredibly difficult it is for him.

Thursday he was able to come to the fourth of July parade with us. I hope to upload pictures soon. It was the most perfect day weather wise and he did great through it all. The kids LOVED having him there! It was also my husbands first time to go, he is not typically a fan of parades but he ended up having a blast.

I am fearful and nervous about my dads release for many reasons but am trying to completely hand it over to The One who is in control anyway. This time has changed me and helped me to grow in ways I never imagined. Its been quite a juggling act, like china in fact. All things that are most precious to
me are having to be balanced and I struggle trying to keep everyone happy.  Its just life I know. I will only be stronger and more intentional because of it.

Time Marches On

Day by Day.... My Mother seems to be coming to terms with my Dad's situation and handling things well. We have been able to spend some time together away from the hospital and I think that helps.  She has started being more involved in his care and taking notes. Its a process.
We are having some communication issues with the hospital which has posed some poblems but have addressed them with management.  Hopefully that will be worked out quickly. My Dad is still very fragile and is now in isolation due to the staph infection his body is tryig to fight off. It could be months which is hearbreaking for several reasons. He will not be able to see my kids or get out of his rooom. The good news is thearpy comes to him but how depressing to be so confined and away from people. 
He had a surgery yesterday which will hopefully reduce the chance of UTI, which he has another one currently.  He came through it well and it was noted as succcessful. There was an incident of him 'falling out of his bed' Friday night which is hard to understand given he is completely diminished below his ribs. He has also vocalized that he does not feel secure at night. Scary. There is now a sitter that is with him during these times. 
What a crazy road this has been. To think it has been three and a half months.  Its the end of the school year. All in this week, four baseball games, two awards assemblies, two end of year parties, play day at the school, dance recital rehearsal and recital scheduled for Memorial Day Weekend!! Completely nuts. 
I have two client meetings in there too. One is finished.  No work for the summer. Praying for small projects here and there that can be completed in no more than a week.  Ready to not juggle homework of two children while keeping the third entertained and getting them to school by 7:40 everyday!!! Wishing we could be going to Arlington to visit my parents.  I'm in a funk emotionally.  No crying, just weirdness.  Its hard to be the mommy when all I want is my mommy. 
Well time marches on right! No choice in the matter but to march with it. Im just so tired of being tired.  He brings rest to the weary.  Bring it Lord :)

Things Change

 So I am sick to my stomach thinking about lots of things today.  Lots of things happening over the last few months concerning my family and my business, and my children.  I have had almost two weeks of being awaken in the night and staying that way for up to three hours at a time by night terrors, wet bed, or severe allergies with my three year old.  I have not been able to work because of balancing my family and visiting my Dad.  My mother is in complete denial of the situation is stuck in the grief stage for their previous life. 

A few weeks ago my Dad got his third UTI. This is common for someone who is permanantly on a catheter.  The bad thing is in older people they become much more sick, disoriented and disillusioned- hallucinating.  The next (Friday) day he was diagnosed with pneumonia. VERY bad for a man with a paralyzed diaphram and AFIB heart failure.  This was the day my mother decided to leave town for four days.  I found out when she was half way home. I had assumed her trip was off due to the fragile state of my dad but she was trying to escape it.  That all hit me hard trying to make arrangements for my children, games, and presentations. Of course I do not mind being there for my dad and LOVE to, just last minute to make arrangements for the people who depend on me regularly was difficult.  During this time his heart rate got astronomical. That following Monday he was taken to the ER and then admitted to Cardiac ICU for a week.

My Dad has a very specialized injury that not even many medical doctors are familiar to and staff that do not understand the sensitivity to the various problems that come along with all of it. During his stay at the hospital he was placed on a bed pan for several hours in one day.  This caused a pressure wound that a week later was detected went all the way through to the bone.  We had a family meeting Friday with my Dad, Mother, Aunt (my Dad's sister), his doctor, two therapists, social worker, financial adviser, and two nurses to discuss where he is at and set goals for the future. It was at this time that they told us its a week by week situation and their hope was to have him at Rehab 15 more weeks if he did not have another set back.  The hospital stay set him back almost to square one and worse mentally.  He is at high risk for additional problems to prevent him from rehab because of his breathing and heart issues and now the wound, which is the worst thing they could have anticipated.  They told us because of his mental state being altered due to things like this that we are responsible for relaying his care to those in the hospital by keeping a log of his daily meds, and ALL treatment. They gave my mother resources and told her that although this sounds like a long time, it is in fact perfect to be getting started now on the changes that would need to be made upon his release. His therapist said he is positive he will be leaving in a wheel chair. If he continues therapy after his release there is always a chance that he may be able to be more mobile. His age and situation however make this less likely.The changes would include purchasing a vehicle to allow the wheelchair inside, and modifications to their home such as a wheel in/walk in shower, ramps, etc. There are people to help this to happen so that we may not become overwhelmed by it.

His spirits are down. He is tired and frustrated. He doesn't speak as well or as often. Rarely smiles.  I can imagine that being somewhere other than your home for three months and be awaken every two hours in the night to be turned, having someone with you to shower every time who is not your wife, among many other humilating situations would begin to ware on a person. It breaks my heart.  My mother is out of her head over it all.  Its been a lot for her to process. It is times such as these I really wish I had a sibling.  A husband is not the same in so many ways, although I am very blessed with a supportive one. My mother and I are very blessed to have my Dad's sister here to balance out the time and be the nurturing person that my Dad really needs. She is retired without children and has made the choice to not only be here but take an active role in his care and caring for my mother as well by cooking meals and giving her time to herself. She can also motivate my Dad in ways that we cannot. 

I have to say that I absolutely hate this situation but sure has been nice to see my family this much.  Being five hours away with small children has been very lonely over the past several years without them! I was always jealous of friends who had parents to be with their children, get date nights, meet their mom for lunch and coffee.  Because of this situation they are stuck here for awhile and I have enjoyed the time with them.  Just wish it was not at such a great expense. 

Then there is my business that is about to be non exsitant.  I got off to such a great start but have not been able to do the balancing act of my own little family, work, and being there for my mom and dad.  Its the most frustrating thing I have encountered up to this point in my life.  I had hired an assistant back in January which saved my hyde on my last project.  This project will be over this week and then I will be wrapping up a new home construction at the end of this month. I have not been able to persue other work and barely keep up with what I have had.  I had a kitchen remodel going on that got completely dropped.  I will have full weeks of end of school programs, award ceremonies, parties, play days, dance recital, and three more baseball games before I will have three months of three children at home. I do not see how I will be able to do any work in that situation.  I am at a loss and praying to God that He provide and work out the details.

We live a very frugal life. When our little Levi entered the our world we were not prepared in any way. We are still paying for him financially among the other changes that encurred upon his birth.  My husband has a good job.  We feel very blessed for that, however because of our situtation have to live very conservatively and have the need for a second income.  I plan meals for under $10 for our family of five, I shop at goodwill or get pass alongs for clothing, I plan out my routes to conserve gas, limit my children on food, and entertainment is limited with no extras.  Hoping in another year to not be as tight but have no plans on being excessive either. 

If anyone at all reads this and even more so got this far. Please say a prayer for discernment for me concerning my family and business. I am not overly stressed or in an upset state for I know that God has always provided and will come through. I just need to quit the worry, being frustrated and let Him do His thing.  Sometimes I have a hard time not thinking about it. 

My Dad

Well quite a bit has happened since I last blogged. My parents came to visit me for my birthday on Feb 12th. We were supposed to meet the next morning (my actual birthday) at Cracker Barrell for breakfast. When my mom called and said they could not make it I knew it was serious.  My Dad was having trouble standing. I went over immediately and we took him to a walk in out patient care center. After 4 hours and several tests he was sent home with constipation. They were wrong to say the least.  His pain and ability to hold himself up severely worsened and he was not able to move any extremeties by around 8.  We were still thinking sever dehydration and pumping him full of liquid which he never did expell. That morning he went by ambulance to the ER, several hours later and the same tests later it was determined he had a massive spinal stroke. Three clots down his spinal column and one in his neck. He actually become quadraplegic.  He was then taken to surgery (lasted FIVE hours) to remove the clots and had massive bleeding while doing so.  The neurologist came out shaking his head saying it did not look like he would make it and advised us to stay at the hospitial. He said he would be surprised if he made it the next 12 hours. I prayed for God to prepare my heart to hand him over but also that if my dad could be the one to astound doctors and not be able to deny devine intervention, that I would love that as well. Well HE chose the latter! PRAISE HIM!  The doctors were shocked and are still vocalizing this!! The neurologist said his arms were a loss but he may have mobility in his legs. This has turned out to be the opposite.  He ended up spending 5 days in ICU and then moved to a regular room for two. He has since been moved to a rehabilitation hospital and has now been there five weeks. He does therapy all  day every day and has regained quite a bit of movement in his arms and hands. Working on fingers.  He has involuntary twitching in his legs and they have not responded as much. He has a power wheel chair now and will likely be there until the end of summer.

So it has ended well but with many adjustments. My parents have a second home here but their main residence is in Arlington Texas.  My Dad has been outside once in over a month.  He has a wonderful nursing staff but has had many night complications which have led to infection and prevented therapy the next day.  This is where he needs prayers.  He will most likely leave the hospital in a wheel chair. We are just glad he lived to do so.  There will need to be major changes in vehicals, the house, bed, bathing, etc. As well as adding to my mother's role as wife AND caretaker.  His spirits are high but he has his days. 

It has been particularly hard to not be as involved as I would like due to me having my own family of three  children one being a toddler.  I wish I could be the one there every day making sure things were taken care of and keeping them on their toes. Thankfully my aunt who is retired has come to stay and balances out the time with my mother. My dad is only alone at night. 

Baseball season has started back and I am doing the kid shuffle with piano and dance added to the mix everyday after school.  I also still have my business which is going great.  I have hired an assistant which has helped tremendously.  There are alot of divine intricate details there that can only be the hand of God.  I am still working part time at preschool, two afternoons a week.  My husband regularly works 12 hour days.  I am a bit tired.  He is run down and so am I.  We have had off and on winter and spring for the past month and we all have horrible allergies, ashma, etc.  My three year old is the biggest challenge of my life.  He brings me so much joy but much frustration as well. I am a firm parent.  It doesn't work!! I think he needs more of my individual time and his dad but its just not possible right now.  Lots of challenges going on right now. 

Not quite the blog that most people follow! No original home decor posts or inspirational message here! Just begging for prayers.  I have realized that its the simple things that bring happiness. My dishwasher is out and although I am doing more dishes than I EVER have, it gives me a lot of time to think, meditate, pray.  My Dad's situation made me realize how much I take for granted. I remember coming back for an hour and a half b/c they made us leave ICU. We went back to their house and I sat in his big green chair and saw his slippers and glasses and just lost it.  Thinking he won't ever wear thoses again.  Well he just might now. Every time my legs are sore, I am thankful. 

My dad's name is Maurice. He is a sweet man and the only one that ever read this blog.  Please take a moment to pray for him.  Pray for my mother Cheryl, and my aunt Martha as they devote their days to him.  Pray that I can balance this crazy life and be the daughter he needs  me to be right now. I am the only child. Thank you if you came here and read this far!

picture catch up

Its been ahwhile!

Well, I am super glad I have this little blog now with lots of pictures on it because soon after my last post my computer crashed :(  All I have had is my phone and its just not real easy to blog on.
I had the blessing of being given an older laptop and will try to keep this thing up.

The MAIN reason for my lack of posts is my little business sort of exploded. I have had more work than I can do in my time to do it. Its not been extremely lucrative yet but its better than just my little preschool gig. My pregnancy with Levi is the first thing I ever completely handed over to God. This would be the second. Its amazing how much easier things are when you do that, however I don't know why its so hard to do and why I haven't  done it in the past.  He definately has provided the opportunity.

Its been a struggle to juggle the business, still working two afternoons at preschool, and keeping a home, being a good wife and mother.  I am beyond stretched.  In a lot of ways I wish I did not have the pressure to have to contribute financially.  At the same time I feel blessed to be able to do so. Its just alot to handle at times.

Catch up-
Ty had his 9th birthday on December 9th. I will load pics from the phone soon. We had it at a park where he had invited several boys to come play 'Capture The Flag'. We had cake and hot chocolate too. My friend that made Livi's cake made his as well, it was Lego Ninjago.It was byond cool! He had a blast. That was the weekend after his birthday.

Christmas was good in some ways! The bad thing was we still had no flooring, so no tree. Lots of nasty white dust for 2 months! The other bad thing was that my children were all sick, one... after... the... other.  Ty had an upper respiratory infection Christmas day.  Then Levi got the flu a few days later, then Olivia.  It was also snowy and really cold the majority of the holiday. My parents came and we could not even see them for the first few days because we did not want to  expose them to all the sickness. Miraculously, Trent and I never got any of it!

January was better. Slowly got back to work and took on another client, a kitchen remodel. Finished up a corporate job, and still working with a new house construction.  I did a ton of Christmas decorating in the fall which was good. 

February has been busy and expensive. We have Olivia's dance rectital stuff due next week, Ty has baseball try outs for a different league, and Levi's registration is due for preschool next year.  I turn 39 next Wednesday and then Valentines, both of which will probably be pretty low key with all the $$ going out!! Not like its ever not anyway but especially now. My parents are coming back tomorrow and I can't wait. I have really been missing them. Hoping for a date night too if possible. We need one BAD even if its a coke at sonic!

Well there you have it, my exciting life in a nutshell. Not that I expect readers but its nice to document things for my kids to look back on one day. I need to share some individual stories... LOTS in my mind right now but its late and time for bed. Maybe later.  I am soaking these moments up. They are precious to me and I feel blessed to have the flexibilty to earn money and be with them when they are out of school.  They are all at really neat ages right now.  Family and home are my absolute favorite things EVER.

Olivia Turns SEVEN

 Cita reading one of her gifts to Olivia

 While Pop handled the boys!

My Favorite Day of the YEAR!