Day by Day.... My Mother seems to be coming to terms with my Dad's situation and handling things well. We have been able to spend some time together away from the hospital and I think that helps. She has started being more involved in his care and taking notes. Its a process.
We are having some communication issues with the hospital which has posed some poblems but have addressed them with management. Hopefully that will be worked out quickly. My Dad is still very fragile and is now in isolation due to the staph infection his body is tryig to fight off. It could be months which is hearbreaking for several reasons. He will not be able to see my kids or get out of his rooom. The good news is thearpy comes to him but how depressing to be so confined and away from people.
He had a surgery yesterday which will hopefully reduce the chance of UTI, which he has another one currently. He came through it well and it was noted as succcessful. There was an incident of him 'falling out of his bed' Friday night which is hard to understand given he is completely diminished below his ribs. He has also vocalized that he does not feel secure at night. Scary. There is now a sitter that is with him during these times.
What a crazy road this has been. To think it has been three and a half months. Its the end of the school year. All in this week, four baseball games, two awards assemblies, two end of year parties, play day at the school, dance recital rehearsal and recital scheduled for Memorial Day Weekend!! Completely nuts.
I have two client meetings in there too. One is finished. No work for the summer. Praying for small projects here and there that can be completed in no more than a week. Ready to not juggle homework of two children while keeping the third entertained and getting them to school by 7:40 everyday!!! Wishing we could be going to Arlington to visit my parents. I'm in a funk emotionally. No crying, just weirdness. Its hard to be the mommy when all I want is my mommy.
Well time marches on right! No choice in the matter but to march with it. Im just so tired of being tired. He brings rest to the weary. Bring it Lord :)
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Things Change
So I am sick to my stomach thinking about lots of things today. Lots of things happening over the last few months concerning my family and my business, and my children. I have had almost two weeks of being awaken in the night and staying that way for up to three hours at a time by night terrors, wet bed, or severe allergies with my three year old. I have not been able to work because of balancing my family and visiting my Dad. My mother is in complete denial of the situation is stuck in the grief stage for their previous life.
A few weeks ago my Dad got his third UTI. This is common for someone who is permanantly on a catheter. The bad thing is in older people they become much more sick, disoriented and disillusioned- hallucinating. The next (Friday) day he was diagnosed with pneumonia. VERY bad for a man with a paralyzed diaphram and AFIB heart failure. This was the day my mother decided to leave town for four days. I found out when she was half way home. I had assumed her trip was off due to the fragile state of my dad but she was trying to escape it. That all hit me hard trying to make arrangements for my children, games, and presentations. Of course I do not mind being there for my dad and LOVE to, just last minute to make arrangements for the people who depend on me regularly was difficult. During this time his heart rate got astronomical. That following Monday he was taken to the ER and then admitted to Cardiac ICU for a week.
My Dad has a very specialized injury that not even many medical doctors are familiar to and staff that do not understand the sensitivity to the various problems that come along with all of it. During his stay at the hospital he was placed on a bed pan for several hours in one day. This caused a pressure wound that a week later was detected went all the way through to the bone. We had a family meeting Friday with my Dad, Mother, Aunt (my Dad's sister), his doctor, two therapists, social worker, financial adviser, and two nurses to discuss where he is at and set goals for the future. It was at this time that they told us its a week by week situation and their hope was to have him at Rehab 15 more weeks if he did not have another set back. The hospital stay set him back almost to square one and worse mentally. He is at high risk for additional problems to prevent him from rehab because of his breathing and heart issues and now the wound, which is the worst thing they could have anticipated. They told us because of his mental state being altered due to things like this that we are responsible for relaying his care to those in the hospital by keeping a log of his daily meds, and ALL treatment. They gave my mother resources and told her that although this sounds like a long time, it is in fact perfect to be getting started now on the changes that would need to be made upon his release. His therapist said he is positive he will be leaving in a wheel chair. If he continues therapy after his release there is always a chance that he may be able to be more mobile. His age and situation however make this less likely.The changes would include purchasing a vehicle to allow the wheelchair inside, and modifications to their home such as a wheel in/walk in shower, ramps, etc. There are people to help this to happen so that we may not become overwhelmed by it.
His spirits are down. He is tired and frustrated. He doesn't speak as well or as often. Rarely smiles. I can imagine that being somewhere other than your home for three months and be awaken every two hours in the night to be turned, having someone with you to shower every time who is not your wife, among many other humilating situations would begin to ware on a person. It breaks my heart. My mother is out of her head over it all. Its been a lot for her to process. It is times such as these I really wish I had a sibling. A husband is not the same in so many ways, although I am very blessed with a supportive one. My mother and I are very blessed to have my Dad's sister here to balance out the time and be the nurturing person that my Dad really needs. She is retired without children and has made the choice to not only be here but take an active role in his care and caring for my mother as well by cooking meals and giving her time to herself. She can also motivate my Dad in ways that we cannot.
I have to say that I absolutely hate this situation but sure has been nice to see my family this much. Being five hours away with small children has been very lonely over the past several years without them! I was always jealous of friends who had parents to be with their children, get date nights, meet their mom for lunch and coffee. Because of this situation they are stuck here for awhile and I have enjoyed the time with them. Just wish it was not at such a great expense.
Then there is my business that is about to be non exsitant. I got off to such a great start but have not been able to do the balancing act of my own little family, work, and being there for my mom and dad. Its the most frustrating thing I have encountered up to this point in my life. I had hired an assistant back in January which saved my hyde on my last project. This project will be over this week and then I will be wrapping up a new home construction at the end of this month. I have not been able to persue other work and barely keep up with what I have had. I had a kitchen remodel going on that got completely dropped. I will have full weeks of end of school programs, award ceremonies, parties, play days, dance recital, and three more baseball games before I will have three months of three children at home. I do not see how I will be able to do any work in that situation. I am at a loss and praying to God that He provide and work out the details.
We live a very frugal life. When our little Levi entered the our world we were not prepared in any way. We are still paying for him financially among the other changes that encurred upon his birth. My husband has a good job. We feel very blessed for that, however because of our situtation have to live very conservatively and have the need for a second income. I plan meals for under $10 for our family of five, I shop at goodwill or get pass alongs for clothing, I plan out my routes to conserve gas, limit my children on food, and entertainment is limited with no extras. Hoping in another year to not be as tight but have no plans on being excessive either.
If anyone at all reads this and even more so got this far. Please say a prayer for discernment for me concerning my family and business. I am not overly stressed or in an upset state for I know that God has always provided and will come through. I just need to quit the worry, being frustrated and let Him do His thing. Sometimes I have a hard time not thinking about it.
A few weeks ago my Dad got his third UTI. This is common for someone who is permanantly on a catheter. The bad thing is in older people they become much more sick, disoriented and disillusioned- hallucinating. The next (Friday) day he was diagnosed with pneumonia. VERY bad for a man with a paralyzed diaphram and AFIB heart failure. This was the day my mother decided to leave town for four days. I found out when she was half way home. I had assumed her trip was off due to the fragile state of my dad but she was trying to escape it. That all hit me hard trying to make arrangements for my children, games, and presentations. Of course I do not mind being there for my dad and LOVE to, just last minute to make arrangements for the people who depend on me regularly was difficult. During this time his heart rate got astronomical. That following Monday he was taken to the ER and then admitted to Cardiac ICU for a week.
My Dad has a very specialized injury that not even many medical doctors are familiar to and staff that do not understand the sensitivity to the various problems that come along with all of it. During his stay at the hospital he was placed on a bed pan for several hours in one day. This caused a pressure wound that a week later was detected went all the way through to the bone. We had a family meeting Friday with my Dad, Mother, Aunt (my Dad's sister), his doctor, two therapists, social worker, financial adviser, and two nurses to discuss where he is at and set goals for the future. It was at this time that they told us its a week by week situation and their hope was to have him at Rehab 15 more weeks if he did not have another set back. The hospital stay set him back almost to square one and worse mentally. He is at high risk for additional problems to prevent him from rehab because of his breathing and heart issues and now the wound, which is the worst thing they could have anticipated. They told us because of his mental state being altered due to things like this that we are responsible for relaying his care to those in the hospital by keeping a log of his daily meds, and ALL treatment. They gave my mother resources and told her that although this sounds like a long time, it is in fact perfect to be getting started now on the changes that would need to be made upon his release. His therapist said he is positive he will be leaving in a wheel chair. If he continues therapy after his release there is always a chance that he may be able to be more mobile. His age and situation however make this less likely.The changes would include purchasing a vehicle to allow the wheelchair inside, and modifications to their home such as a wheel in/walk in shower, ramps, etc. There are people to help this to happen so that we may not become overwhelmed by it.
His spirits are down. He is tired and frustrated. He doesn't speak as well or as often. Rarely smiles. I can imagine that being somewhere other than your home for three months and be awaken every two hours in the night to be turned, having someone with you to shower every time who is not your wife, among many other humilating situations would begin to ware on a person. It breaks my heart. My mother is out of her head over it all. Its been a lot for her to process. It is times such as these I really wish I had a sibling. A husband is not the same in so many ways, although I am very blessed with a supportive one. My mother and I are very blessed to have my Dad's sister here to balance out the time and be the nurturing person that my Dad really needs. She is retired without children and has made the choice to not only be here but take an active role in his care and caring for my mother as well by cooking meals and giving her time to herself. She can also motivate my Dad in ways that we cannot.
I have to say that I absolutely hate this situation but sure has been nice to see my family this much. Being five hours away with small children has been very lonely over the past several years without them! I was always jealous of friends who had parents to be with their children, get date nights, meet their mom for lunch and coffee. Because of this situation they are stuck here for awhile and I have enjoyed the time with them. Just wish it was not at such a great expense.
Then there is my business that is about to be non exsitant. I got off to such a great start but have not been able to do the balancing act of my own little family, work, and being there for my mom and dad. Its the most frustrating thing I have encountered up to this point in my life. I had hired an assistant back in January which saved my hyde on my last project. This project will be over this week and then I will be wrapping up a new home construction at the end of this month. I have not been able to persue other work and barely keep up with what I have had. I had a kitchen remodel going on that got completely dropped. I will have full weeks of end of school programs, award ceremonies, parties, play days, dance recital, and three more baseball games before I will have three months of three children at home. I do not see how I will be able to do any work in that situation. I am at a loss and praying to God that He provide and work out the details.
We live a very frugal life. When our little Levi entered the our world we were not prepared in any way. We are still paying for him financially among the other changes that encurred upon his birth. My husband has a good job. We feel very blessed for that, however because of our situtation have to live very conservatively and have the need for a second income. I plan meals for under $10 for our family of five, I shop at goodwill or get pass alongs for clothing, I plan out my routes to conserve gas, limit my children on food, and entertainment is limited with no extras. Hoping in another year to not be as tight but have no plans on being excessive either.
If anyone at all reads this and even more so got this far. Please say a prayer for discernment for me concerning my family and business. I am not overly stressed or in an upset state for I know that God has always provided and will come through. I just need to quit the worry, being frustrated and let Him do His thing. Sometimes I have a hard time not thinking about it.